


Sometimes Things Just Stop

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-20
Updated: 2006-07-20
Packaged: 2019-05-15 14:14:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14792045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: While preparing for The First Lady's birthday party, Toby and CJ find themselves saying goodbye.





	1. Sometimes Things Just Stop

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

  
Author's notes: I am considering doing more to this. I wrote this as part of a 100 Situations challenge on my LiveJournal account.  


* * *

**Thursday Night**   
**6:45pm**

He waited patiently which, in itself, was an amazing feat for Toby. In all the years they’d known each other, he’d never known CJ to take so long in the bathroom. After a moment he began tapping his foot. All she was doing was applying make-up.  
“CJ!” He called out, his eyes darting to the clock. If she came out at that moment, they could still make it to the party on time. In five minutes time they will still be able to make it before Abbey arrived. There was no reply from the other side of the door. “CJ, we’re going to be late.” Still no response was heard, and Toby began to worry. At the very least he expected to hear her yell at him to shut up. But there was no noise whatsoever.

~

**Almost two hours earlier…**   
**5:05pm**

“Toby, slow down, I’m not feeling good.” CJ groaned as he drove them home from work.  
“We don’t have to go tonight.” He assured her. As he stole a glance at her, he noted her deathly pale complexion. “You don’t look well.”  
“Well thankyou.” CJ rolled her eyes, snuggling into the passenger seat as much as she could. “We have to go Toby its Abbey’s birthday. She’ll be upset if we don’t turn up.”  
“She’d understand if you’re not well.” Toby muttered, not wanting to start an argument over such a trivial thing.  
“If she finds out I’m sick she’ll want to leave the party and see what’s wrong.”  
“True,” He agreed as he steered the car into their driveway. “But at least you’re less likely to collapse in the middle of a crowded room.”  
“Knowing my luck, I would anyway.” A slight smile managed to brighten up her face, and he could do nothing but agree to let her go.

~

**6:52pm**

Taking a deep breath, he flung open the bathroom door. She lay unconscious on the cold bathroom tiles. Her dark blue dress, still neatly hugging her body, was saturated in blood from the waist down. “CJ talk to me.” He knelt down beside her, his hand brushing her forehead.  
“I feel sick.” She murmured, biting her lip as she began to feel the pain course through her body. It seemed to be much more comfortable for her to keep her eyes closed then even try to open them.  
“It’s okay I just want you to lay there while I call for an ambulance.” He said softly. She remained unaware of her own blood loss, and if he stayed calm maybe she wouldn’t open her eyes and discover it. Then she wouldn’t panic. Hurrying out to the hall, he fumbled with the phone as his mind tried to focus on the task at hand.

~

From where she lay, CJ groaned in pain. Her hand gently kneaded the burning cramp in her abdomen. She tried to move and groaned again as her back muscles tensed up. Abbey’s birthday, she could remember getting ready for the party before everything went black. She’d been bent over the sink after a cramp had ripped through her body. “Toby!” She called out, her voice seeming to echo inside her own head. Her hand moved up to pinch the bridge of her nose. Every muscle in her body seemed to be throbbing with pain. “Toby, where are you?”  
“I’m here.” She heard him say and as he pressed a kiss against her head, she opened her eyes.  
“What took you so long Tobus?” She whispered, smiling softly.  
“I called an ambulance.”  
“You didn’t have to do that.” She closed her eyes again. “Can you turn the heat lights off?”  
“Are they too bright?” Toby glanced up and flinched.  
“My head hurts.” She sighed, turning her head so that her cheek rested on the cold bathroom floor.  
“You had a fall. I don’t know how long you’ve been out.” Toby said as he quickly stood up and moved to the door. “Keep talking to me CJ.” He reminded her, as he flicked the switch returning to the normal lights. Turning around, he notice CJ had her eyes open again and was staring at the ceiling.  
“Maybe I am going to hell.” Blood was beginning to stain the white tiles, but she remained unaware of it, too focused on the pain in her body to take not of anything else. “Those prayers aren’t working for me. I want a refund.” She managed to smile, at her own little joke.  
“You didn’t pay them to pray for you.” He told her, kneeling down next to her again. “This damn ambulance is taking its sweet time.” He growled.  
“I’m hungry.” She replied, becoming a little dazed.  
“I don’t think we’re on the same wavelength.” Toby commented, glancing at his watch and moving to hold her hand.  
“I know, isn’t it fascinating. We do that a lot.” She sighed, flinching as she felt another jab of pain shoot up her back. “Was that the door?”  
“I left it open.” Toby said as he quickly got to his feet again. “Don’t go anywhere…”  
“I’ll try not to.”

~

**Friday Morning**   
**9:00am**

“Toby?” He looked up from where he sat on the edge of the bath. “Are you okay?” Ginger opened the door a little wider and dared to step inside.  
“I’d like to be alone right now.”  
“I just thought you’d like to know that CJ’s Dad just arrived.” She said softly, watching for any sign that signalled he was really coping fine.  
“Thankyou Ginger, I’m going to stay here.”  
“Okay.” She smiled a little. “I’ll try and direct people away from this area.” Without another word, Ginger disappeared back into the world that Toby was trying desperately to block out. The cameras, the people… they were all too much. He wanted to be alone. After all, that’s what he was now. He was alone. At first he hadn’t believed it was possible, and then came the briefing. The Bartlet’s had been notified and the girls had arrived within three hours. Abbey politely apologised and asked everyone to leave her birthday party, as something personal had happened and she did not feel she would make a suitable hostess for the rest of the evening. Five minutes later, Josh was sent into the briefing room to deliver the news to the Press. Whether they knew it or not she loved them, and they were part of her family.

~

**Thursday Night**   
**7:40pm**

“Could everyone please take their seats?” Josh called out over the commotion as a very confused bunch of journalists filed into the briefing room. He strode up to the podium and placed his notes in front of him. The last time he’d had to do the briefing, CJ was in pain from emergency root canal and he’d screwed it up. This time was different. This time, it wasn’t a real news briefing. It was simply to express to her extended family, what had just taken place.  
“Where’s CJ?” Katie asked as she sat down, pulling her Dictaphone out of her pocket. “Surely she’s not letting you do an important briefing again.” She smiled as everyone laughed. Josh ignored her comment and began as soon as everyone was seated.  
“Ladies and Gentlemen, at seven o’clock this evening, White House Press Secretary, Claudia Jean Cregg was rushed to hospital after collapsing in her home.” Josh noticed every pen in the room freeze as he spoke. “Doctors worked for half an hour, but her condition deteriorated.”  
“What’s happening?” Chris asked slowly.  
“By the time she’d arrived at the hospital she had already lost a lot of blood, there was nothing they could do.” Josh took a moment to compose himself before repeating what he’d been told. “CJ Cregg, died on the operating table.”


	2. Toby

Two distinct noises filled the back of the ambulance, the least assaulting of the two being the sirens. The constant wailing was almost silenced by CJ’s crying. Her pain was all Toby could focus on and he cringed as her grip on his hand tightened. She cried out as the pain pulsed through her body. “Can’t we stop moving?” She cried. One hand held firmly to Toby’s while the other gripped her stomach.

“We’re almost there.” Toby attempted to assure her as he brushed hair from her eyes. “Just try and relax.”

“Try having your body ripped apart from the inside, and see if you relax.” She growled back at him. 

“Miss Cregg is there anything we need to be aware of when we get you to the hospital?” The paramedic asked. He noticed a worried look pass between the two as he spoke.

“There’s nothing, besides what I’ve already told you.” Toby replied before CJ had a chance to.

“You told them already?” She asked carefully, still holding his hand in a firm grip. At his sharp nod she tensed a little. “I guess it’s a good thing we didn’t tell anyone.” She managed to smile slightly, momentarily ignoring the pain that seemed to echo in every inch of her body.

“I wanted to tell everybody I spoke to.” He admitted softly, pressing a kiss to her hand as the paramedic injected her with a sedative.

“I know, so did I.” CJ began to relax and she wasn’t sure whether it was her own doing, or if the sedative was spreading quickly through her weakening system. “Carol has been bugging me about my on-going good mood. I’m pregnant. That’s all I wanted to say every time.” Closing her eyes for a moment, CJ tried desperately to hold onto the joyous feeling that came with saying those two words out loud.

“Carol would have emailed everyone an announcement with…”

“With countless spelling mistakes.”

“It would have spoiled the surprise.” Toby played with her fingers for a moment. “I almost told Ginger the day you told me. She was scared, because I seemed to be happy.”

“You even scare Leo when you do that.” She was finding it increasingly difficult to keep her eyes open. All she wanted to do was sleep.

“What did you just give her?” He frowned towards the paramedic, taking note of how calm she’d become.

“It was a mild sedative,” The younger man explained. “It merely decreases the pain to a larger extent than the one I gave her originally.”

“Toby,” She grabbed his attention before he could start a debate over whether or not she needed another sedative. “I think I’m a little out of it.”

“Claudia Jean, you were born that way.”

“Just remember what Hogan said about Fish. It helps.” She smiled, as she finally allowed her eyes to close. “I love you Toby.”

“I love you too CJ.” As he pressed a kiss against her hand, he noticed her breathing even out. With all the noise around her, CJ had given in to the call of sleep. “Hogan.” He muttered, frowning as he tried to work out what she was talking about. The ambulance finally pulled to a stop, after what seemed like hours. The paramedic was saying something to him, but all Toby could focus on was holding onto CJ’s limp hand as they began to move into the hospital. He wanted to hold onto her hand for the entire operation, like taking a child to the dentist for the first time. It was too hard to let go. But as they neared the operating room, a nurse stopped him from entering. He froze, watching her disappear into the forbidden room. He hadn’t even noticed her hand slip from his. One moment had passed and she was suddenly out of sight.

Not paying any attention to the young nurse trying to speak to him, Toby looked down at his hand. When had he let go? It felt as though she was still there, like she was just standing next to him holding his hand. He could still feel her smooth palm. The feeling just seemed to linger there as if it had nowhere else to go. Words could not begin to express the tangled web of emotions that was slowly being weaved within his mind and heart.

“Sir, is there anyone I can contact for you?”

“The White House.” He replied without even needing to think it through. One look at the young woman told him she had no idea what was going on. Hadn’t she seen who’d just been brought in? Because clearly, she was under the impression he was slightly deranged. “On that operating table is the White House Press Secretary. I suggest you get whoever runs this damn place to call the White House.” He growled.

“Is there anyone in particular…”

“Donna Moss. She’ll be able to handle it.” As the nurse scurried away, Toby found himself left alone with his thoughts. Somehow he managed to find his way to the private waiting room, and there he remained. There are times when even the happiest thoughts can crumble into a desperate struggle for hope. And as Toby mulled over every moment of his life with CJ, the night’s outcome became all too clear. It seemed the moment a pessimist searches for hope, it has already been lost.

~

He was no longer alone. That was, at least, a blessing after close to half an hour of pure loneliness. His eyes travelled around the room. Zoey had arrived only moments ago and sat silently in the corner. He’d considered talking to her but thought better of it. She seemed content on coffee runs and awaiting the arrival of her parents, while he was content with not talking – therefore, making the whole thing a little bit easier on both parties. Nearby, however, there was noise. Margaret and Ginger sat with Carol who was desperately trying to digest the news. He could hear her whispering questions to them. Questions that she needed answered, but could not be.

For once Toby was unable to write away his problems. There was no way to describe what he was feeling, or even the atmosphere that engulfed the room. Waiting was hard. Waiting to hold her, talk to her, and kiss her. Even just waiting to see her take to that familiar podium and watch her running rings around the Press Corps again.

“Mr Ziegler, could I speak to you out here for a moment?” Everyone’s attention turned to the Doctor standing in the doorway.

“Sure, why not.” Standing, Toby followed the Doctor out into the hallway where they sat alone and talked. The atmosphere in the room was painful. Everyone wanted to say something, or have something reassuring said to them, but no one was willing to do so. Except for one.

“Leo?” Margaret stood as her boss entered the room, she sat down with him by the door. “I’m worried about Toby. What if…” Turning, Leo glared at his assistant.

“We’re all worried about both Toby and CJ.” He pointed out. “Whatever happens, they know they can turn to us for support. How’s Carol doing?” If he didn’t change the subject Margaret would remain on the ‘what-if’ track for too long. It was not something anyone wished to discuss. Saying it would make it too real and Margaret, being Margaret, was the only one who felt the need to do that.

“Carol’s real upset.” Margaret said quietly. “Donna’s taking care of everything for her.”

“Alone?”

“Josh, Sam and Bonnie are helping out.” She frowned, as if it was the obvious answer. “They decided it would be best not to flood the waiting room, give Toby some space to breathe. I promised to call with any…” She trailed off as Toby walked back into the room.

“What did the Doctor say?” Carol asked cautiously.

“Can we see her Toby?” Zoey’s voice, strong and determined, broke through his thoughts and he took a deep breath. But no words were uttered. Toby glanced over the worried faces looking back at him. Each person was eagerly waiting to hear his next words.

“There was a lot of blood loss.” He began slowly. Everything in his mind was forming simple sentences as he opened his mouth. Like speaking was the only thing it was capable of controlling at the time. “There were complications with the surgery and they weren’t able to stabilise her. She’s gone.” With those two words he suddenly felt a rush of adrenalin. The moment they were spoken it was as if someone had smashed his chest open with a hammer. He breathed in deeply and sat down. Hiding his face in his hands, he tried desperately to avoid watching them digest the news. He’d hardly even had the chance to do so himself. One minute she was with him and then suddenly she’d been taken away. It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real, it was all too sudden.

“I’ll go call Donna and let them know.” Margaret said softly, laying a hand on Toby’s shoulder. She glanced at Leo, who simply stared at his hands. No one else seemed to be taking action except for Margaret, because it was the only thing she really knew how to do.

“They’ll let us see her soon.” Toby told her before she left the room. Again, he was waiting. There was a nagging feeling that it was all a cruel joke. CJ’s idea of payback for leaking a story and, subsequently, embarrassing her a few weeks ago. She’d promised to get him bad. Maybe this was all a big joke. But then there was the blood. He turned his hands over, and glanced at his knees. His black suit pants were simply dark in most places from the blood on the bathroom floor. It was too much blood for the whole thing to be anything else but reality.


End file.
